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Having conversations with your in-laws can feel like walking through a minefield. Even if you have a great relationship, there are certain topics that can quickly turn a pleasant family gathering into an awkward, tense, or even confrontational situation. Some comments may seem harmless in the moment but can leave a lasting impression that is hard to shake.
Whether you’re trying to maintain peace or avoid unnecessary drama, here are ten things you should never say in front of your in-laws.
That’s Not How We Did It in My Family
Comparing your spouse’s family to your own rarely goes over well. Even if you’re simply pointing out a difference in traditions, phrasing it in a way that implies your way is better can easily come off as dismissive or critical.
Families develop unique customs and ways of doing things, and what seems odd to you may be completely normal to them. Instead of highlighting differences in a negative way, embrace the variety and show appreciation for their traditions.
Your Son/Daughter is So Bad at…
Even if you’re joking, pointing out your spouse’s flaws in front of their parents is a surefire way to make things uncomfortable. No one likes hearing their child being criticized, and what might be a playful complaint to you could sound like an insult to them.
Whether it’s about their cooking skills, driving habits, or inability to fix things around the house, it’s best to save those conversations for private moments. If you need to vent about minor frustrations, do it with friends—not in front of the in-laws.
We’re Raising the Kids Differently Than You Did
Parenting is a sensitive topic, and telling your in-laws that their methods are outdated or wrong can lead to resentment. Even if you have strong opinions about modern parenting, implying that they didn’t do a good job raising their own children is an easy way to create tension.
If they offer unsolicited advice, instead of shutting them down, try responding with, “That’s interesting, we’re doing things a little differently, but I appreciate the input.” This keeps the conversation polite while reinforcing that you have your own parenting style.
Politics and Religion Are Just So Messed Up Right Now
Unless you and your in-laws are completely aligned in your views, these two topics are best avoided. Heated debates about politics and religion can turn family gatherings into battlefields, and no one wants that.
If they bring it up and you disagree, try steering the conversation in a different direction or offering a neutral response. Sometimes, keeping the peace is more important than proving a point.
How Much Money Do You Guys Make?
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Money is a tricky subject, and prying into your in-laws’ finances can come across as rude and invasive. Even if they bring up financial topics, avoid asking personal questions about their income, debt, or investments.
Similarly, discussing your own financial struggles or successes too much can lead to uncomfortable comparisons or unsolicited advice. Keeping financial discussions light and general is the safest approach.
Our Bedroom Life Is…
Your in-laws do not need to hear about your intimate life with their son or daughter. Even if they make jokes about marriage, oversharing personal details is unnecessary and will likely make everyone in the room uncomfortable.
If the topic comes up, a simple laugh and a subject change is the best way to keep the conversation appropriate. Some details are best kept private.
We’re Thinking About Moving Far Away
Even if it’s true, casually mentioning plans to move far away can be upsetting to in-laws who want to stay close to their child and grandchildren. Instead of dropping it into conversation without context, have a private and thoughtful discussion with your spouse’s family if relocation is a serious possibility.
Moving for work, lifestyle, or personal reasons is completely valid, but bringing it up in a way that sounds dismissive of family connections can strain relationships. If the move is inevitable, finding ways to reassure them that they’ll still be an important part of your life can soften the impact.
My Ex Used to Do That Too
Bringing up an ex in front of your in-laws is a guaranteed way to create awkwardness. Even if it’s an innocent comment, no parent wants to hear about their child’s spouse comparing them to a past relationship.
Even worse, if you make it sound like you’re still hung up on your ex, it can create doubt about your commitment. When in doubt, just leave past relationships out of the conversation altogether.
We Don’t Really Want Kids
If your in-laws are hoping for grandchildren, casually mentioning that you don’t want kids can be a bombshell. While you are absolutely entitled to your own life choices, dropping this into a conversation without warning can lead to long, uncomfortable discussions or pressure to reconsider.
If you’re not ready to have that conversation, keep responses vague, such as, “We’re focusing on our lives right now and seeing where the future takes us.” That way, you’re not forced into a debate about your personal decisions.
Your Cooking Isn’t My Favorite
Even if your in-laws’ cooking isn’t to your liking, avoid making negative comments about it. Food is deeply personal, and criticizing their meals—even jokingly—can be taken as an insult to their culture, traditions, or personal effort.
If you’re served something you don’t like, find something positive to say, like “This is really interesting, I’ve never had this before.” Being polite costs nothing, but an offhand remark about their cooking could be remembered for years.
In-Law Conversations Can Be Tricky
Conversations with in-laws can be tricky, but avoiding these topics can save you from unnecessary tension or awkward moments. Respect, politeness, and a little self-awareness go a long way in maintaining a positive relationship.
What’s the most awkward thing you’ve ever heard someone say to their in-laws? Share your stories in the comments.
Read More:
8 Things You Should Never Offer Your Family (Even If They Ask)
10 Scary Reasons You Should Never Ignore a Strange Car Parked Near Your House
Latrice is a dedicated professional with a rich background in social work, complemented by an Associate Degree in the field. Her journey has been uniquely shaped by the rewarding experience of being a stay-at-home mom to her two children, aged 13 and 5. This role has not only been a testament to her commitment to family but has also provided her with invaluable life lessons and insights.
As a mother, Latrice has embraced the opportunity to educate her children on essential life skills, with a special focus on financial literacy, the nuances of life, and the importance of inner peace.
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