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Why do we find it so hard to trust our gut? We are dating someone and something about them just doesn’t feel right? Maybe they seem too charming, too good to be true, or their stories don’t quite match the facts. While some of us may find ourselves in relationships that don’t feel quite right, it’s not always easy to pinpoint exactly why. Con artists are skilled at manipulation and deceit, often hiding their true motives behind a façade of affection and love. Here are ten signs that your partner may be more than just a smooth talker— they could actually be a scammer.
1. They Are Experts at Flattery
Everyone loves a little praise now and then, but con artists take flattery to a whole new level. They know exactly what to say to make you feel special, admired, and appreciated. At first, it may seem flattering, but over time, their compliments may feel overly intense or insincere. They use charm as a way to gain your trust and lower your defenses. If they are showering you with praise too early in the relationship, it could be a tactic to manipulate your feelings and make you more vulnerable.
2. They Have a Mysterious Past
When asked about their past, a con artist’s story is often vague or inconsistent. They might tell you bits and pieces that don’t align or change their narrative when confronted. This lack of clarity is often a red flag. Con artists typically avoid sharing concrete details about their previous relationships, jobs, or history because the truth could reveal their manipulative behaviors. If your partner consistently brushes off questions about their past or becomes defensive, it’s worth considering why they might be hiding something.
3. They Create a Sense of Urgency
One of the most common tactics of a con artist is creating a sense of urgency or crisis. They may pressure you into making quick decisions, whether it’s financial, emotional, or personal. Whether it’s urging you to move in together quickly or demanding immediate access to your finances, they want to lock you in before you have a chance to think things through. This sense of urgency is designed to cloud your judgment and make you act impulsively. If you feel rushed or coerced into decisions, take a step back and consider whether their motives are truly in your best interest.
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4. They Constantly Ask for Money
Con artists often prey on their partner’s generosity, making subtle requests for money or gifts. Initially, it might seem like a small favor—asking you to cover dinner or loan them money for a “temporary setback.” But over time, these requests can escalate. They may justify their behavior with elaborate stories about their financial struggles or pretend to be in a state of emergency. If you find that your partner is frequently asking for financial help, it’s a red flag that should not be ignored.
5. They Are Always the Victim
A hallmark of a con artist’s behavior is their ability to paint themselves as the perpetual victim. Whether it’s their ex-spouse, a difficult boss, or a challenging life situation, they will spin a tale of woe that constantly places the blame on others. This tactic is designed to manipulate your sympathy and make you feel responsible for helping them. By creating a constant drama, they ensure that you stay emotionally invested in their problems, while they avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. If every conversation revolves around their struggles and never their accomplishments, it’s a sign you might be dealing with someone who isn’t as genuine as they seem.
6. They Have Unexplained Financial Struggles
No one is immune to financial setbacks, but when your partner constantly seems to be struggling financially with no clear explanation, it could be a sign of manipulation. They may ask for loans, claim they’re in debt, or promise to pay you back later, only to keep coming up with new excuses. This behavior is often a ploy to gain access to your resources or test your financial limits. If they never seem to get ahead despite working hard, it might be because they’re using their financial woes as a way to manipulate you into providing for them. Be cautious if their financial story never adds up or is continually shifting.
7. They Avoid Any Public Scrutiny
A con artist will go to great lengths to avoid being scrutinized in public, especially if it would expose their lies. They may refuse to meet your friends or family or make excuses to avoid situations where they could be judged. Whether it’s avoiding family gatherings, staying secretive about their work, or evading social situations, this behavior is a sign that they want to keep you isolated. By keeping you separate from others, they maintain control over your perception of them. If they resist integrating into your social circle, it’s worth questioning why.
8. They Are Always Manipulating Your Emotions
Emotional manipulation is a key tool in a con artist’s kit. They may guilt-trip you, play on your insecurities, or twist your words to make you feel responsible for their actions. Every argument may feel like your fault, or they may exploit your vulnerabilities to get what they want. Over time, this manipulative behavior erodes your self-esteem and confidence. If you feel emotionally drained or like you can never win in a relationship, it could be because your partner is intentionally manipulating your emotions.
9. They Keep Secrets
Secrecy is another red flag in a relationship with a potential con artist. They may hide phone calls, texts, or even details about where they’re going or who they’re meeting. Their need for privacy might seem innocent at first, but as time goes on, it can feel like a constant barrier between you and them. This behavior is designed to keep you in the dark while they continue their deceptive actions. If they’re always keeping secrets or acting suspiciously when it comes to their personal life, it’s worth considering their intentions.
10. They Are Always Moving on to the Next Scheme
Finally, con artists are often serial manipulators, constantly searching for new people to deceive or new schemes to pull off. If your partner has a history of bouncing between relationships or starting new ventures that seem to end abruptly, it’s a sign that they are always in search of their next victim. They may even tell you about their past con jobs or failed ventures in a way that seems too perfect, as if they’re trying to test you or gauge your reaction. This transient lifestyle is a key characteristic of a con artist looking for their next opportunity to exploit.
Trust Your Instincts
Recognizing the signs of a potential con artist in a relationship is crucial for your emotional and financial well-being. If you notice several of these red flags, it’s time to seriously assess whether your partner has ulterior motives. Trust your instincts, set boundaries, and don’t be afraid to ask questions or seek support from trusted friends or family. Remember, a healthy relationship is built on trust, honesty, and mutual respect. If something feels off, it’s important to take a step back and protect yourself.
Have you ever been conned by someone you were in a relationship with? How did it end? We’d love to hear your story in the comments.
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Latrice is a dedicated professional with a rich background in social work, complemented by an Associate Degree in the field. Her journey has been uniquely shaped by the rewarding experience of being a stay-at-home mom to her two children, aged 13 and 5. This role has not only been a testament to her commitment to family but has also provided her with invaluable life lessons and insights.
As a mother, Latrice has embraced the opportunity to educate her children on essential life skills, with a special focus on financial literacy, the nuances of life, and the importance of inner peace.