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Not all men play games, but some know exactly what to say to keep a relationship going just enough without actually committing. They use words as a way to pacify concerns, deflect responsibility, and string you along without real change. Instead of a relationship, you may find yourself in a situationship. If you’ve ever felt stuck in an endless cycle of excuses and half-hearted apologies, you’re not imagining things. Some men will say whatever it takes to keep you around while putting in minimal effort. Here are nine of the most common lies they tell to keep stringing you along.
1. “I’m Sorry”
Apologies should come with action, but some men use “I’m sorry” as a temporary bandage rather than a real attempt to change. When a man truly values you, his apologies come with behavior shifts, not just empty words. If he says he’s sorry but keeps doing the same things that hurt or disappoint you, it’s not an apology, it’s just another way to keep you in the cycle. A sincere apology is followed by different choices. If “I’m sorry” is just a phrase he throws out when you’re upset, but nothing ever changes, he’s not trying to fix things, he’s just keeping you from leaving.
2. “I Just Need More Time”
When a man isn’t ready for a serious relationship, he might ask for more time, but never define how much. He doesn’t want to commit, but he also doesn’t want to lose you. So, he drags things out, promising that eventually, he’ll be ready, but somehow, “eventually” never arrives. If a man tells you he needs more time, ask for specifics. If he can’t give a clear answer or keeps moving the goalpost, he’s not planning a future with you, he’s just stalling.
3. “I’m Just Really Busy Right Now”
Everyone gets busy, but no one is too busy for someone they genuinely care about. If a man repeatedly uses his schedule as an excuse to cancel plans, avoid deep conversations, or keep you at a distance, he’s making it clear that you’re not a priority. People make time for what matters to them. If he’s always too busy but somehow has time for friends, hobbies, or scrolling through social media, it’s not about his schedule, it’s about where you rank in his life.
4. “I Don’t Want to Ruin What We Have”
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This phrase is often used when a man enjoys the benefits of a relationship but refuses to make it official. He doesn’t want to label things because labels come with expectations, responsibilities, and commitment. He will tell you that defining the relationship will change things, but in reality, he just wants to keep things casual on his terms. If he truly valued what you have, he would commit to it instead of using fear of change as an excuse.
5. “I See a Future With You, But…”
A man who keeps you around but never takes real steps toward a future together might say he sees one, but always follows it with a vague excuse. He might say he wants to get married someday, but not now, or that he wants to settle down once his career is in order. If he always talks about the future but never moves toward it, he’s keeping you in limbo. Someone serious about building a future will take concrete steps instead of just making promises.
6. “I Just Have a Lot Going on Right Now”
Life is always going to be complicated, and everyone faces challenges. When a man uses this as an excuse to avoid commitment or emotional availability, he’s really saying he doesn’t want to put in the effort. If you notice that he’s only emotionally available when it’s convenient for him, but distant when things get serious, he’s using this as a way to keep the relationship on his terms. People in healthy relationships work through life’s challenges together instead of using them as a reason to keep someone at arm’s length.
7. “I’ve Never Felt This Way About Anyone Before”
This phrase is designed to make you feel special without requiring him to do anything meaningful. He wants you to believe that you are different, that this connection is rare, and that you should hold on. But if his actions don’t match his words, it’s nothing more than flattery to keep you emotionally invested. Real feelings are backed up by real effort, not just romantic words meant to keep you holding on.
8. “I Just Need to Work on Myself First”
Personal growth is important, but this phrase is often used to delay commitment without ending the relationship. If he truly needed time to work on himself, he wouldn’t expect you to wait around for him. He would take space, do the work, and then come back when he’s ready. If he keeps saying he needs to work on himself but never actually makes progress or lets you go, he’s using it as an excuse to keep you hanging on while he figures out what he really wants.
9. “I Love You, But…”
Love should not come with conditions that only benefit one person. When a man says, “I love you, but…” and follows it with a reason why he can’t commit, why he needs more space, or why the relationship isn’t quite right, he’s preparing you for disappointment. Real love isn’t about keeping someone in a constant state of uncertainty. If he truly loves you, he will do what it takes to make the relationship work instead of giving you reasons why it can’t.
Stop Listening to Words and Start Watching Actions
If you recognize these phrases, it’s time to pay attention to what’s really happening in your relationship. Words can be persuasive, but actions tell the truth. If a man truly values you, he will show it in his consistency, effort, and willingness to commit. If he keeps feeding you excuses, he’s just stringing you along. You deserve someone who isn’t just keeping you as an option but is making you a priority.
Have you ever heard any of these excuses in a relationship? What action did you take based on these excuses? Share your experiences in the comments below.
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Latrice is a dedicated professional with a rich background in social work, complemented by an Associate Degree in the field. Her journey has been uniquely shaped by the rewarding experience of being a stay-at-home mom to her two children, aged 13 and 5. This role has not only been a testament to her commitment to family but has also provided her with invaluable life lessons and insights.
As a mother, Latrice has embraced the opportunity to educate her children on essential life skills, with a special focus on financial literacy, the nuances of life, and the importance of inner peace.