Just to keep it real: that headline was a joke.
Backstory: I’d just gone fishing with my dad and some of his friends in northern Ontario. I wasn’t sure if my phone would work in the Canadian wilderness, so I asked my dad.
Dad: Sure, it’ll work fine.
Me: You sure? I have to stay in touch with the office if something goes haywire in the markets or with my clients.
Dad: You’ll be fine.
The short story: I wouldn’t have a tale for you today if it’d worked. The owner of the fishing lodge bought me a phone card on a trip to town for supplies. I was allowed to stand in his living room and use his personal phone for about 15 minutes each day.
It was ugly.
So, a couple months later I was headed to Toronto for a business meeting. Being the think-ahead-guy I am (you may recognize that as another joke if you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time), I decided to call Sprint to verify that I could keep in touch with clients and my office.
Sprint: Thank you for calling Sprint. This is Betty. How may I help you?
Me: I’m headed to Toronto in the morning and I wanted to verify that I’ll have phone service.
Sprint: I’m happy to help you with that, sir. First, I need to verify some personal information.
It’s clear to me at this point that she didn’t even listen to my question. We verify that I really am AverageJoe, quite a sexy dude.
Sprint: Okay, now how can I help you sir?
Me: I have a work trip to Toronto, and I’d like to make sure my cell phone will work.
Sprint: Certainly. I can look that up for you. Where was that again?
Me: Toronto, Canada.
Sprint: Hold on a moment, sir. I’ll find out for you. Can you hold please?
She’s gone for flippin’ ever. I don’t mean “walk around the house” ever. I mean “fix lunch and dinner and mow the lawn before she gets back” ever.
Sprint: I’m sorry for the delay, sir.
Me: (I was starting to think she’d hung up on me) That’s quite alright.
Sprint: Where was it you’re heading?
Me: (amazed) Toronto. Ontario. Canada.
Sprint: Certainly, sir. Can you hold again? I apologize.
I remember her being very nice about it. Now I’m starting to think something is wrong.
It turns out, something was wrong.
Something was very, very wrong.
Sprint: Sir?
Me: Yes?
Here’s where the Sprint woman gave me the awful news for Americans everywhere.
Sprint: It appears that Toronto, Canada isn’t a part of the United States.
I couldn’t help it. There was only one possible reply.
Me: (indignant) SINCE WHEN?
I hung up. I couldn’t stop laughing.
(Not that it matters, but my phone worked. There were huge roaming fees…maybe so they could hire geography experts.)
(photo credit: Phones: David Paul Ohmer, Flickr, Toronto: Steven Harris, Flickr)
Bless her heart! I bet even my 8-year-old knows where Toronto is. The only horrible customer service experience I’ve had lately wasn’t from someone in customer service. It was my son’s doctor being a tool. He tried to charge me for a visit in which my son wasn’t even seen! His computer system was down (yay for not backing up your electronic medical records) and we rescheduled since it was just a check-up. I said “my son wasn’t even seen that day.” The doctor (who shouldn’t even be talking to me about bills….where’s your receptionist, dude?) said “Oh, that’s right…you were late and had to reschedule.” I got sooo defensive! “I wasn’t LATE…your computer system was down and you couldn’t figure out how to do a check-up!” He apologized, but I was already pissed.
I’ve also had issues with a doctor blaming me for her problem recently. She read me the riot act about being late. I told her that on the contrary, we had been waiting for an hour for her and I’d spent the time teaching my 16 year old about the concepts of process management and throughput. She didn’t get it and I didn’t go back again.
That is very funny! And you were quite patient with her. I think call centre reps are given a script and it doesn’t allow them to think for themselves when someone asks for something outside of their normal script.
I have heard people say that Toronto is Canada. Not sure where the rest of us live. I have also had people ask me if .ca was for websites based in California.
Those are awesome. My wife’s relatives in Toronto will be glad to hear that they “are” Canada. Who needs the rest when you’ve got the Maple Leafs and Blue Jays?
I meant to ask you, where in Northern Ontario did you go fishing? I am originally from Ontario.
Ha! Well…it felt like Northern Ontario at the time because it was a hell of a drive to get there…but looking at the map it wasn’t all that north. We were in Timmins. I think I mentioned we were with my dad’s friends? If not, we were. They wanted to go into town every day because Shania Twain is apparently from there. We never did go to town (thank God). Beautiful area. A moose ran next to our truck. It was as tall as we were.
I recently had a similiar situation with AT&T when I called about international fees. He wasn’t quite as uneducated, but he was definitely hard to understand since he was mumbling. It took me three tries to understand what he was saying. In the end I think I got charged $30 for international and saved some fees… but I guess I won’t know for sure until I see my bill
That’ll be a fun trip to the mailbox, Christine! (fingers crossed)
This is when people have been so trained or programmed to the same exact responses, they don’t even listen the customers. It’s rather hilarious I admit. Especially since she didn’t process the whole conversation.
Hilarious! I’m surprised she didn’t have to transfer you three times to their specialists before they could NOT answer your question.
You mean there’s a Toronto in Canada now? That’s pretty funny, but maybe she lived in India like most of the people in call centers. At least then you could maybe understand why she didn’t know where Toronto was.
I’m pretty pissed it isn’t in the USA, Mike. It’s an awesome city. It didn’t make the piece, but it was clear from the beginning that she probably wasn’t a US native. I understand why she didn’t know, but Sprint should be a little upset with their training program.